Sunday, June 9, 2019
Sunday, June 9, 2019: Hospital Day 8 / MK to hospital by 8:00 / More visiting friends than ”you can shake a stick at!” / Denny shows signs of recognition, but it works against him / Brother Terry arrives from Mesa / Denny’s lungs on x-ray, show them filling up with a fluffy-looking matter.
All the families returned today – eventually, at day's end, the medical team posted a sign stressing that visitors be in small numbers, be quiet and keep the visits short. The atmosphere in the room was too stimulating for the patient and affected his breathing adversely. Even though it appeared that he was just sleeping, he was feeling, even hearing the electricity generated by the room full of loved ones. Doyles spent much of their stay in the waiting room in animated conversation! At 11:00. Steph and I went to the cafeteria to eat. I hadn't eaten before coming this morning, and she had come back to the hospital at1 o'clock or so to sleep in the recliner in Denny's room and had not eaten either. We had large meals -- she the chicken wrap and I the brisket, green beans and roasted potatoes. So delicious.
Concerned, loving friends came throughout the day: Terry (from Mesa) with his son Jeremy, Sarah, Olivia, Zach and youngest boy Doyle / Julie & Richard Kroff / Dan & Sharon Boskovich / Doug & Pauline Todd / Harry & Ellen Gillespie / Betty Shaw / Roger & Edie DuPaix / Virgil Johnson / Dan Bradshaw. I had long, loving conversations with each of them separately!
Denny worked very hard to open his eyes to see Boskoviches, when he heard us telling him they were there. He did the same when Terry took hold of his hand and said, “hello, Denny, it’s your brother Terry!” Denny’s eyes got very large and he earnestly sought to focus on him. When Virgil and Dan finished their visit, Dan said, ”How ‘bout a thumbs up?” and Denny put up both thumbs, though his eyes were closed and he appeared to be sleeping.
When I went in to bring Todds to see him, Angie quietly explained to them what she knew about his present condition, while I held his hand and talked quietly to him, telling him that I loved him and to please try to breath slowly, as I watched his oxygen level gradually drop to 72. He squeezed my hand for a long time, so I knew he knew it was me, then I kissed his hand and said, “Good night.,” as the nurses entered the room. We left him in their care. It was 8:45 p.m. At 9:00 Terry walked me to my car and shared his feelings. Then with detours at 7th East and 94Th South, it was 9:45 before I pulled into the driveway.
Some Things I learned throughout the day:
In Sam’s family prayer Saturday in California he asked that his dad would get home safely and be able to see grandpa before he died. He was happy when Matt let them know he had been able to, so Sam then prayed that he would also get home in time to see Grandpa alive. He came this morning with Matt & Mary.
Richard Kroff and his brothers had several miracles while in Switzerland in search of their great-grandfather’s house, the paperwork proving it, and any living Kroffs in that area – all was disclosed to them through a series of miracles that had to have been set up by Heavenly Father long before they left for this “genealogical trip”, which required they notice an ad with the name Christian Kroff and his website address, which they looked up and found his home address, which a woman nearby (who spoke English) said was in the little town across the valley-- the home to many Kroff families. They drove there and found the address, but were told that Christian wouldn’t be home for another hour. They decided to have dinner during that waiting period and selected a small restaurant at random. A gentleman who spoke English asked why they were in the town, they explained their search for Kroff families and the records/ deeds showing the correct house of great-grandpa etc. – he immediately pointed out where the records office was located, then pointed out a Kroff family sitting in a booth nearby. At the same time, a small band of musicians appeared from the back and one of Richard’s brothers exclaimed – “There’s Christian Kroff!” The gentleman looked up and said it was indeed Christian and his brother also! They had been there to play for a birthday celebration of a local girl!!! How many “coincidences” do you count? The spiritual tale does not end there, but our time ran out –to be continued!
Lily leaves tomorrow with girlfriends and a couple mothers for St.George for a week – Graduation trip! She’ll move into her Orem apartment when she gets back.
Harry & Ellen had been to visit Reiner Prawitt in the hospital trying to recover from complications from his bone marrow transplant. They shared an experience with him included in President Nelson’s book on “insights”— the night before the death of Pres. Monson, the Nelsons had gone to the Bountiful Temple to do initiatories. Harry was the ordinance worker with Pres. Nelson. It was the following morning He was called to be the President & Prophet of the Church.
Todds said that Karen & Doug Barnes will be going to Europe on Tuesday. Doug is excited to show her around!!!
Today was our 2nd Sunday FHE to be held at John & Aubrey’s house. She made sloppy joes and watermelon chunks. Most, if not all, families did drop in at one time or another to eat dinner!
I talked with Bette Brown this morning and told her that in the year and a half that Doug has been gone, I felt I had shown sincere understanding whenever she had a story of when she missed him, needing his advice or information or direction in one matter or another, but that I have had a few moments during this week when I have actually allowed myself to imagine being without Denny and needing him in those same situations. Then I realized that I had not really understood her feelings at al1! NOW I understand. Now I know the feelings she was sharing. Then she suggested that maybe this is like our pre-earth life when Heavenly Father told all of us about the hardships and challenges we’d be required to experience when we came to earth, and we all thought we understood – to the degree that we shouted for joy at the unknown just for the opportunity to come to earth and prepare ourselves for exaltation! We did not, could not understand what He was telling us until we actually experienced it in life here. I have thought about it all day and have broadened the ideas and find it to be a powerful lesson and testimony to me!!!
I have not allowed myself to think much about Denny dying. I don’t want to think about it. What I have allowed myself to think about is how very much I love him and how very wonderful he is. He is so much more than the funny guy that has endeared everyone to him. From the moment I realized I loved him, I told myself that it was because he was GOOD…his goodness went so deep that it almost broke my heart at the realization! I feel the same today. I have almost seen him without the veil of forgetfulness between here and the Spirit World. He is God-like Good and I love him.
Monday, June 10, 2019
Monday, June 10, 2019: Hospital Day 9 / Denny sedated and calm / Family and friends keep vigil and visit
Waking at 6:44 got me ready for the day early. I arrived at the hospital at 7:30. Stephanie had gone home and Angela was in her place in her dad’s rom. Denny had had a quiet, calm night. It was so good to see him breathing so easily – albeit with the ventilator at 100%.
There were wonderful moments with family members: Angela, John, Aubrey, Oliver, Lincoln, Nixon, Kevin, Matt, MarkV and Uncle Terry from early morning through the afternoon and evening hours. Friends, too, made a difference to the day: Betty Shaw, Clark and Roger early and later, Karen & Fred Johnsen and Pres. Larry Monson. I had fallen asleep about 5:00 when the Johnsens arrived – they had a good visit with Terry until I awoke to join in.
Then Terry made his way back to Saratoga Springs to be with Jeremy and family. While visiting with Johnsens, Pres Monson appeared, and, lo, and behold, he is well acquainted with the whole Johnsen family, so it was a nice time together. Johnsens brought a gift from the French group -- $75 worth of tickets for the cafeteria! What a surprise. Aubrey and boys came at noon, so I joined them for lunch in the cafeteria! Yum. Them we took a toasted ham and cheese sandwich and a lemonade back to the room for Uncle Terry.
Aubrey and boys said goodbye to Grandpa as they left for home. 13-year old Oliver was particularly emotional about seeing his grandpa so near death. Kevin had taped his children saying hello & get well to Grandpa. Here, too, 13-year old Rylan couldn’t hold back his tears as he tried to express his feelings. All those required hugs over the years have endeared him to his grandchildren.
Bishop John came over at 10:30 to turn off the water sprinklers and check on me and share some of the lovely houses that he and Aubrey looked at today! We talked about our feelings about Denny’s present situation – we agree that it so surreal that we find it difficult to foresee a life without him, yet wonder where the extraordinary effort to keep him alive will lead. The nurses and doctors are going to great lengths to “fix” every concern, issue, and health problems but to what end? Oh, how we wish we were able to communicate with him – talk with him, hug him. Is that a realistic hope?